So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
