I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
