goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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