If i could tip my vagina, i would.
there was a trapeze. enough said
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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