Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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