porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
