this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
