i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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