Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
