she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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