you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
