About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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