we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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