Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
