Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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