Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
