Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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