do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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