i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
