Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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