Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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