It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
