Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
