What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
