But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
