bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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