so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
