I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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