My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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