My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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