I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
