Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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