I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
