I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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