Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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