Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize