ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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