I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
