No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
