OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
