They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
this boner is exhausting
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
