none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
