he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
