i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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