I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
