when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
