I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
