Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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