My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
