somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
