she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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